Sunrise of My Soul’s Bliss- the beginning
To all you courageous warriors who get out of bed each and everyday to face the world once again- to all of you who continue to dream in the face of adversity- to all of you who are able to find the positive side of any painful learning experience- and to the lost child spirit of your youth- I have good news for you. I am here to tell you that it is all right, everything will be alright.
I say this convincingly as I made it through the grieving process after the loss of one of the greatest loves of my life. I say this with hope because I have failed over and over I have learned more than I will ever know. I say this because that wound that was once raw and open has started to heal and the pain lessens as I get stronger and stronger guided to a greater existence.
You may ask why I would dare to open my heart and soul to share from a place of vulnerability when I still may be so fragile in the face of life. Well, because sharing what I have learned with those who need the encouragement and support is more than reason enough and today is as good as any other to start rebuilding life from a different perspective.
And so I boldly embrace the writer that I have become and type out the words, while honoring my muse…
Who would have thought that I would want to the see the world as magical again. My whole life it has been that way. I have always believed that there is magic for good and that there is magic for bad. There has always been a fine line between the two. I have been told that I need to be more realistic about the path of my life. That I need to be concerned how I will support myself and take care of my responsibilities. That word, responsibilities, has always carried a negative connotation for me. It seems to be a very heavy word, one that has the potential to quash any far flung dream that I may conjure up in my head and my heart. However, as I get older and reality tends to clash with my fantasyland, I have made the effort to give the word the value it deserves and bring a sense of gratitude to it. Where I once saw responsibilities as a burden, something that gets in the way of my spontaneous nature, I now see it as a unique honor, to have the honor of raising my children and being responsible to them, to have the honor of caring for my dogs who have always given me unconditional love, and to have the honor or being responsible for my life and the direction that I take it. I thought that this realization came about in 2006. But, in reality it hit me like a brick wall nearly 5 years later when I experienced for the first time in my life the dark night of the soul. And their where I lost my way, had me on a new journey to find the sunrise of soul’s bliss.