My Year of Magical Thinking: Hope is a tricky thing!
Hope is a tricky thing. Once you grab on to it and pray for a just result, when the outcome is not the one that you were looking for, disappointment and a grieving period begins. You start to look around at the world a little differently. Bewilderment sets in as you look at people differently. You know that the others, the ones who chose differently, were privy to the same information that invaded your days for the last two years and yet still, this is not the reality you would have hoped for. You try to find reason in all of this, because at your core you are a logical being, there must be a reason for the outcome. You champion a positive spirit. You believe that good will overcome evil. But difficult as it is, the world you woke up to the morning after is somehow very different than the one you knew the night before. Your job then becomes, on this new day, the day after, how do you hold strong to hope, to all that you believe in when you are faced with feelings of despair.
Hope is a tricky thing.
I woke up today feeling slightly similar to how I did the morning that my mother passed away. While I know that this is so much different than losing a woman that you loved so much, that emptiness in the pit of your stomach has remnants of pain that have re-surfaced, a pain that you thought you had surpassed. I see the faces in my mind’s eye of those who spewed vitriole over these past long and hard fought months. A bad taste arises in your mouth when you know you have to interact and maintain your composure. You now know how low they are capable of going, they were empowered to unleash the rage from within and overwhelmed may with the “isms” that we have prayed would be surpassed.
Only wanting to bring love compassion and understanding, a world enraged turned on those basic values. Shall we ask, Father forgive them for they do not know what they do?
Hope is a tricky thing. One must grab on and hold on for dear life in times like these. I feel my own anger arise within as I take a deep breath and remind myself that I am better than that. I have strived for so long to bring a message that brings light and inspiration so I must hold on to that. I will not lower myself to injustice but move forward using my own voice to seek out the just! To not lose faith, I must truly believe that there is a plan greater that we cannot see. This could be the very beginning of an awakening of good in the face of ignorance and evil. This could be the beginning of a certain something wonderful that is about to happen. This could be the beginning of a people who do not walk numb to a life that does not serve any of us. For you and I play an important role on this big beautiful planet.
You see Hope is a tricky thing. A Pandora’s box has been opened and sanctioned by a people who have loudly stated that character is something that carries no import. Yet, there are many of us who stand firm and will continue to demand that our voices are heard. For those who identify as female, LGBTQ, Black, underrepresented Whites, and minority that feel silenced, this is not the time to back down from hope. This is the time to grab on and hold on tighter for the pendulum it does swing and the universe loves balance. While the sadness will not leave probably in the upcoming days, I still hold my head high as I will not let the bastards get me down. I certainly will not let any of this change me for the worse, just lit a bigger fire under me to move forward with my calling and to continue to create a world that makes me proud. Let your light shine and never give up hope!! That is where the magic lies! Our children are watching- while tricky, we still have an obligation and we can be a force for hope!
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