Artist’s Way- Week 6 – Recovering a sense of possibility! I’m back!
I am back- I took a break for one whole week from my blog and from most interactive sights to rest and renew my zest and enthusiasm for the whole experience. After one week of travel to two separate paradise locations (which for me has to do with sun and fun in a wonderful hotel and house on the beach), my spirit feels revitalized to a certain extent and my mind is clearer. Makes this week’s task even easier to accomplish. it is all about recovering a sense of possibility. I have found that when I am tired and out of balance, it is very difficult to set out your dreams and believe in the possibility to see them through. This last week started out facing one of my biggest fears. It sounds ridiculous but one of my biggest fears was to return to Paradise. Paradise Island, Bahamas actually. 2 years ago at one of my lowest points I traveled to Atlantis in Paradise Island with my family for five days of rest. My mother had passed away that April of 2011 and I was exhausted and out of balance. I was so stressed out and anxious that in July of 2011 I developed tinnitus, a horrible ringing in my left ear that was maddening. While my nerves were shot, things were made worse by the insomnia. Every night I woke up at 3 am (if I was lucky ) and remained awake for the rest of the night. It was in this scenario that I left for a much needed vacation. But it was under this scenario that after one day in Atlantis I suffered one of the worst anxiety attacks I have ever experienced in my life. It was so terrifying and my fears so magnified that I just prayed to make it through the trip only to return to the relative safety of my apartment in Miami. I remember well crying uncontrollably in the corner of my hotel room when my 2 year old hugged me and started to sing in a child’s way a tune to never give up -never ever give up! I did make it home safely and I vowed never to return to that place again for fear the memory of the experience would overtake me again.
2 years later, feeling much stronger and wanting to move forward, I decided that it was time to face my fears and that in and of itself is a strong indication that anything is possible. It is funny how things happen in life. We had airline vouchers that were set to expire at the end of August. If we did not use them, we would have lost the credits. In addition, Atlantis on Paradise Island published a great promotion. These two fate filled elements had me looking to approach a time in my life willing to change the memory from one of sadness to one of empowerment. Other elements that came to light started to confirm that this was a good decision. Two other families who were good friends of ours were going to be at the same hotel at that same time. They have children the same age as ours. So even though I was nervous as I prepared to leave on this trip, I was ready to change the memories of the past and live a different present. And we had a wonderful time! from the beginning to the end. I enjoyed the whole experience and was so happy that i challenged myself to face what had me paralyzed in the past. I am confident that by overcoming this obstacle I will be able to move forward boldly and willing to embrace other things that caused me anxiety in the past. My sens of magic and miracles returning ever so quickly!!!
When we returned to Miami, I set out again to meet up with my sister and best friend at my family’s beach house. One of my favorite places in the world and a second paradise!!! What a beautiful couple of days. all the elements of peace and balance presen, the ocean, the sand, the blue sky, the cool breeze and the warm sun. Good friends and loving family. Peace! Leaving the beach, I was flooded with memories of the enjoyable times spent together with many beautiful faces that have come in and out of that house. Just smiled to myself how blessed I am to have had so many beautiful people in my life!!!
Then returned to Orlando to spend the last two days with my father and sister and her family! We visited my mom’s grave and I asked her to help me see the possibilities in my life by assisting me with my intentions- Ask Believe Receive! Went to the movies and just enjoyed being together!
So this week has really recovered a sense of hope and of course possibility that I can do and achieve whatever I set my mind to accomplish. I can conquer my fears. I am stronger two years later than I was and I have made so many positive changes in my life that I am so proud of. I feel like I have a strong foundation to continue to build on and my inner artist is truly finding her way again! This has been a good week. I am renewed and revitalized by this new sense of possibility and am ready to take on any challenge that is thrown my way- just believing that it is all good, because I am not going to accept anything but the best!!! Loving this week in the process! Onward and upward!!